The complications of being one with Russia
by Nimue the Gray
Summary: On a drunken whim Prussia agrees to become one with Russia in return for Kaliningrad. In a sober state of mind the disadvantages of this plan become obvious but perhaps there could be advantages as well...
1. Chapter 1

It hurt seeing Koenigsberg like this. Prussia remembered past moment of awesomeness and saw a city that didn't look like his at all. He also remembered the city falling, his people trying to run. That memory hurt even worse.

The cathedral had been rebuilt, strange, it didn't seem like something Russia would do. Prussia decided the new one wasn't nearly as good at it used to be. He felt like a ghost walking through the streets that used to be his but he could no longer recognize.

*

*

He went to Koenigsberg to feel better but ended up worse. The last thing he needed was to be reminded of what he used to have and lost.

It didn't take him long to find a bar where he began to order vodka. Because nations were hopelessly drawn to each other he walked right into the same bar as Russia. Prussia didn't even bother to count the glasses of vodka he downed as he stared at Russia across the room. Russia didn't look back and didn't even bother with glasses when he drank his vodka.

"Hey, Russia," Prussia called out across the room. He had started to become more comfortable after that last glass. "What exactly would become one with Russia mean?"

"To be mine of course," Russia said, not at all surprised. Perhaps he was not as unaware as he appeared. He moved to Prussia's side with unexpected speed, almost breathing down his neck. "Everyone should be one with me so I can take care of them, make the decisions and create a better world. It will be nice, da?"

"I want you to be really, really specific," Prussia said, pointing unsteadily at Russia. "Can I have Koenigsberg back? Do I have to clean your house in a French maid dress?"

"It is Kaliningrad when it is mine," Russia said with a very annoying smile. "And if you want it back you have to be mine too. I will be nice to you."

"I don't like to clean. And I don't play dress-up. And I'm not going to be your sex-slave or some kind of weird shit. But I want my capital back."

"You are very strange," Russia said.

"I'm calling your bluff!" Prussia yelled and heads turned as he finished his glass in one grandiose sweep. "Make me one with Russia!"

*

*

Prussia woke up in an unknown bed. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence and it didn't bother him. He tried to recall last night. If it was Ukraine's bed it would be awesome. If it was Denmark's it wouldn't be unexpected. He felt a bit sore so Denmark seemed likely, unless Hungary finally given in and decided to top the hell out of him in a way not even his favorite dreams could match. But overall he felt great, better than in a long time. No hangover, instead all tingly with anticipation of something he couldn't name.

"Morning!"

Prussia almost fell off the bed in horror as Russia entered with a tray of small pancakes.

*

*

Prussia calmed down after a while and ate the weird pancakes. They tasted good enough and it was a bit moving that Russia bothered to make a hot breakfast for him, as far as Prussia knew there were no minions left to make it. With some efforts he managed to recall last night. Becoming one with Russia in return for Koenigsberg Russia insisted on calling Kaliningrad. What a gloriously idiotic plan. He should have kept to beer as Germany always told him.

"You even signed things," Russia proudly said and showed him a bunch of documents. They were just copies and pointless to rip apart. Prussia read them instead. To his growing fear they did not specify what becoming one with Russia meant in practical terms but they did assign him Kaliningrad Oblast.

"Uhm, that's nice?" Prussia tried. Having a territory again felt good. His claims on Germany were pretty vague at this point. Perhaps this wasn't all bad.

*

*

Prussia found a quiet spot and praised the technology of this century as he called his brother. Back in day he would have been forced to write a letter and hope Russia would bother to send it.

Germany freaked out so badly when Prussia explained the situation that he almost missed those days.

"I need my capital back! I can't just mooch on you forever," Prussia protested.

"I never saw it like that," Germany quietly said.

Prussia sighted. The truth was that Germany was right in being worried, no matter how badly Prussia wanted to defend his bad decision.

"The truth is... I was really drunk and now it's kind of too late to take it back. But it doesn't seem that bad, promise."

"It is that bad," Germany said and it was everything he didn't say that made Prussia shiver a bit. It wasn't fun being GDR but at least he had his own land then. The entire experience was probably worse for Germany who almost broke down not knowing what was happening to Prussia on the other side of the wall.

"I'll talk to America and England about it, if you signed under influence it shouldn't be valid," Germany continued. "Be careful until then, I promise to hurry."

"I want to keep Koenigsberg," Prussia said without much force.


	2. Chapter 2

"What are we doing now?" Prussia said and paced back and fourth in Russia's office as Russia read through reports with an expression that got progressively more pained.

"Speak Russian," Russia said with more authority than he tried this far.

Prussia cut off a sarcastic answer. It wasn't an unreasonable request.

"'Alright."

Prussia tried to grab some documents and read for himself. Russia caught his wrist with more force than needed.

"I'll be making the decisions, alright? You just obey."

It reminded Prussia of a past he didn't like to think about. Prussia tried to break free and Russia let go a moment after he made it perfectly clear that Prussia was only released because he felt like it.

"But I'm bored," Prussia mumbled. He wasn't going to let Russia scare him off that easily. "You don't even have internet."

He had his new laptop with him but here in the middle of nowhere it was little more than a glorified typewriter.

"I will arrange that once you show you are useful for anything."

"Hey!"

"Go and clean and then we can talk about this again."

*

*

Prussia was both annoyed and a bit shaken up. At least no French-maid outfits, even if the list of things to do in Russia's house looked frightening enough by itself. Washing seemed acceptable and Prussia went on with it with grim termination. He tried to kick Russia's huge bulking coat into the washing machine with the rest of the clothes and figured the next step would become obvious as he went along.

"What are you doing?" Russia had unexpectedly sneaked up on him and he looked horrified. He mumbled about the madness of blending dirty underwear with his uniforms and gave Prussia an even dirtier look. "This goes to the drycleaner! What did you do when you lived with Germany?"

Prussia had played video games, chatted and blogged about random occurrences in his life that never included helping his brother cleaning.

"Other stuff," Prussia replied.

"He must be very happy to be rid of you for a while. His whining to the other nations isn't nearly as loud as I expected."

"He's just worried over pissing you off too much."

In the praxis of nations captured nations had very few rights, rules of war only applied to humans. Personifications such as self-proclaimed micronations, oblasts or states could not be considered to have any rights at all. Come to think of it, Germany probably had a good point.

"He should be worried," Russia agreed. "Now pay attention because I never thought I would have to teach someone this."

In all honestly it wasn't that hard when Russia explained it. Much better than before the industrialization when Poland once had made him do his washing. Prussia had gleefully destroyed everything by "accident". Russia's mood improved again as he noticed that Prussia paid attention.

"I had some problems with these things too," Russia admitted. "After Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia moved out. My food was burned and my cloths discolored. Then I learned."

"We used to be empires. We should have other people do this for us."

"There is no point dwelling on that."

Prussia wished he could be as fatalistic as Russia about those things.

"And internet?"

"You are still not useful. It took me much longer to explain this than to do it myself."

*

*

Prussia spent way too much time trying to access his mail with his phone but with horrible reception it was a way worse torture than most things Russia could conjure up.

At least that was what he thought.

"Tonight you'll make dinner," Russia said.

"I hate cooking."

Russia gave him an unpleasant stare.

"But I'll try..."

Prussia had no idea what to do with the ingredients he found in Russia's kitchen. Back home Germany never let him touch the kitchen, claiming he would just make a mess. Italy cooked most of the time anyway and he could make a mess since he slept with Germany. After considering things carefully Prussia mixed some meat with vegetables, added potatoes, fried all of it and sprinkled over spices he thought looked appetizing. The result wasn't that bad.

"That was terrible," Russia disagreed. "Make better dishes in the future."

"Hey, I like it! Maybe you shouldn't be so whiny, this is perfectly good German food."

Alright, maybe that was a lie but how would Russia know? If there was some sausage or cup noodles he would be perfectly able to make a dinner out of that.

"We are in Russia now. And you are going to be Russian too."

Prussia dug in his nails into his palm to stop a protest. It was pretty much that he had signed up for, no matter how idiotic it was.

"Yeah, but I tried. And not to nag, but this thing about inter-"

Russia slapped him in the face with an open palm to silence him.

"I told you, I am tired of listening to your complaints. I had to _give up_ land to get you, I don't know what I was thinking. Make better food next time or I'll consider to not feed you at all."

"I'm not East Germany anymore," Prussia yelled.

Russia was still smiling that damn empty smile as he mocked him and Prussia couldn't stand it. He threw his plate at Russia's head. It shattered with a satisfying sound against Russia's face. He cried out in a mix of pain and surprise and for a moment that damn smirk was gone. The smile returned again as he rose from his chair, launching forward and grabbed Prussia's throat before he could find anything else to throw.

Oh, this had not been a good idea. Prussia tried to not squirm too much, he could recall this exact position all to well and remembered that the more he moved the less he would be able to breathe. Russia held him in place, hard enough to bruise, and started at him long and thoughtfully.

"I did make you Kaliningrad Oblast," Russia said after what felt like forever. "Since we are both Russia I should be nice to the smaller part of me."

"Mmfp," Prussia attempted to agree but the lack of air made talking hard.

Russia unexpectedly let go.

"We should clean up. The dining room is a mess."

Since Prussia was busy trying to breathe and not panic over how his throat was swelling with bruises Russia did most of the cleaning. Then he confiscated both Prussia's phone and laptop.

*

*

Prussia braced himself when Russia came by again later. Russia had cuts in his face and a deeper wound where the plate first hit.

"I have a gift."

"Uhm, thanks?"

Prussia opened the plastic bag Russia handed him to find a light blue scarf.

"Scarfs are good for many things," Russia happily said.

*

*

No scarf bondage ensured to Prussia's relief. Dear god, he must have a much more active imagination than Russia. Perhaps internet porn really was bad for you. Prussia wrapped the scarf very lightly around his neck to hide the bruises before he headed out to Koenigsberg.

The entire Kaliningrad Oblast felt different this time around when he could feel its heartbeats like his own. Less like a mockery of what Prussia used to be and more like a hope of continuation. With some time and more trust from Russia he could make something out of this. Kaliningrad was not without military might. It appealed to him that Russia would pretty much sign over his Baltic fleet to him. Perhaps he could have more as well. It made everything so complicated and stopped him from running away from Russia's house without looking back.

*

*

Prussia wasn't going to run but he wasn't going to let things degenerate back to Soviet-like relations again either. He bought a book with recipes in the city and planned to give what Russia considered tasty a try.

In the past they sometimes beat the shit out of each other and sometimes they had teamed up to beat the shit out of someone else. It wasn't all bad even if the unpleasantness had dominated lately. Prussia probably had to take the first step towards a better relationship. Before Russia got annoyed enough to trash his stuff with the pipe.

Prussia's pancakes end up a lot flatter than Russia's but he was still really pleased with them.

"At least you did try this time," Russia said and looked with despair at his burned blini.

Prussia was wise enough to not bring up his computer issues again.

*

*

The first good news since he became one with Russia was the upcoming meeting in Europe.

"Can I come to the meeting too?" Prussia asked. He really liked the idea of world meetings but they had started after his own country was dissolved and those bastards never let him in...

"Why not? But you must behave because you are my oblast and everything else would make me look weak in front of the others. I would be forced to make some very unpleasant demonstrations of my authority."

"Eh," Prussia hesitated because that sounded pretty ominous. "Alright, but let's do this properly then."

There was no way he was going to show up in his jeans and t-shirt, no matter how great they looked on him. It took very little convincing to make Russia get him a naval uniform which to Prussia's utter delight was black.

"I look awesome," Prussia declared. "Hell, I am awesome."


	3. Chapter 3

Germany was worried to death despite Prussia's phone calls. He knew his brother, he would never admit being afraid of Russia. And Russia had a long history of monitoring his captured nations outside communications.

Russia and Prussia were fashionably late. Germany wasn't the only one who choked a little when he realized what Prussia was wearing. A Russian military uniform and a blue scarf that looked hideously mismatched with the rest. Prussia seemed ridiculously satisfied with himself. That idiot. Russia looked like he had been in a fight, he had several cuts on his face and Georgia did not even bother to show up. Germany had other suspicions but others probably assumed a connection.

America freaked out, not unexpectedly, even if it was over the wrong thing.

"You can't bring your oblasts! Then I should make all my states into persons and bring all of them!"

"It would be a little crowded, da? But it is nice to have many friends," Russia smiled and America twitched.

"You are already bringing Texas," China pointed out. "It is usually everyone against Russia anyway and it seems unfair to me."

"Then I'm bringing Scotland and Ireland next time," England said.

"No you're not," France said. "You hate Scotland and Ireland."

"I hate you too and we still carpooled here."

When England and France started fighting everyone forget about the real issue. Which of course wasn't really if bringing states and oblasts to meetings was a good idea.

*

*  
Prussia himself was unexpectedly quiet next to Russia and scribbled notes, about what was anyone's guess. After nothing useful have been said and everything dissolved into an unorganized mess that almost made Germany cry everyone just stood around and gossiped. Which often ended up being the most useful part of the meeting. Iceland imminently went to chat up Russia and Prussia while the rest avoided the pair. Germany decided to catch his brother as soon as he left Russia's side.

"Perhaps Russia can have some use of him," Germany heard Poland say. There was no doubt about who 'he' was. "No one else have."

"Poland, you remember what Prussia is good at right?" England said. "And who Kaliningrad Oblast borders to?"

Poland went very quiet.

"Hm," America said. "Didn't we dissolve Prussia because he was all crazy and obsessed with war?"

"We did," England agreed and Germany did not like where this was going. "And now he's back in a military uniform."

That was of course the real issue and Germany had hoped America wouldn't think too closely about it.

*

*

Prussia eventually left Russia alone to be fawned over by Iceland and Germany hurried to catch him before someone else did.

"New scarf?" Germany said.

"It's cold in Russia."

"I know," Germany replied and before Prussia could stop him he lifted the scarf. Beneath it Prussia had a a circle of bruises. Germany hated being right. Their eyes meet and Prussia looked away first.

"Just come home with me now," Germany begged.

"I can handle it, okay? I can't let him take Koenigsberg away again. Besides, I threw a plate at him. And I don't miss. Anyone would have been angry."

"Then why are you suddenly acting like Russia's dedicated secretary? I don't think America is on our side anymore after that."

"Yeah, I know. I'm not stupid, you know."

Of course he wasn't, but it was easy to forget since Prussia had the impulse control of a polecat. Germany glanced on Prussia's notebook, which said things like "I look awesome but England really needs an eye-brown waxing.". It was very hard to remember that is brother had a brain beneath it all. And that Germany had considered handing over Italy to be trained by Prussia for a short while before deciding it was too cruel of a punishment.

"Try to be more careful then."

"Why?" Prussia said with a smile. "Russia isn't exactly a pacifist country. Or unarmed. Not even America is going to mess with me and Russia for real unless we do something really crazy. They can stand in their stupid cliques and whisper all night if they want, as long as they remember that Prussia was awesome and the new improved Kaliningrad is in charge of the fucking Russian fleet."

"And I remember that Russia is in charge of Kaliningrad."

"It's going to be fine. You worry too much. And ehm, I won't be calling you so much for a while. My phone had an accident."

"What kind of accident?"

"It ended up being involved in the plate incident. We all learned something and I'm sure it's going to work out fine. But hold on to my stuff for a little while longer. I don't want them to have... well, another accident."

Prussia adjusted his scarf and disappeared to try to feel up Italy a bit. For once Germany didn't even care. He had bigger problems.

*

*

_Please review if you have the time :)_


	4. Chapter 4

"That was great," Prussia said. "It was funny when England tried to strangle France. And now America and England are really pissed off at me. Aren't you happy?"

"Why should I be?"

Prussia repressed an urge to face-palm.

"And here I made such an effort to show what a good little minion I am! To display a united front to the world and so on."

"That was considerate of you," Russia said and Prussia could hear the sarcasm in his voice.

"I'm dead serious this once."

"And you are not plotting with Germany I am sure."

Prussia had honestly thought Russia was listening in on that conversation or at least had some do it for him.

"I should have tried to become one with America instead if you are going to be like that. Could have tried for Hawaii or something. It's warmer. And America is pretty trigger happy too these days..."

Prussia took one step back in the last second and avoided being throttled again.

"Okay, okay, maybe I went a bit too far there."

Russia settled with grabbing his arm instead.

"What did you and Germany talk about?"

That statement made Prussia want to throw his phone into the snow when (if) he got it back since it so obviously was bugged anyway. Setting up some secure communication was going to be a priority in the future.

"Germany told me to come home and stop acting like your minion. Pretty much what he said from the start. Back off!"

This had been a horrible plan. Not even Russia was happy with him.

"I don't trust you. Someone must have an ulterior motive or an overall plan about this. I strongly suspect it's you."

"Yeah, you might think that. We're both supposed to be really smart people even if we have some personality quirks. Someone should have a plan."

Others had been less generous in the past and referred to his quirks as out of control narcissism, which Prussia considered a bit hurtful. Speculations of what Russia's severe personality disorder was had been a favorite subject among the satellite nations once upon a time.

Russia loosened his iron grip on Prussia's arm. Prussia felt encouraged and continued.

"Don't you think that it would be the best move from my side right now to try to get on your good side? For real, not just pretending. You are my best chance to both stay around and have fun. Even if all this probably began with us being drunk and not having a plan... I'm starting to see why my brother always tells me to keep to beer and stay away from the vodka."

"My boss tells me the same thing."

Russia and Prussia exchanged the superior smile of those who thought they could hold their liquor if they only wanted to.

"I think I will believe you for now," Russia said.

*

*

Fights between Russia and Prussia usually did not end in a peaceful agreement. It used to be with either violence or someone getting fucked. When they weren't particularly angry Prussia considered it a novel feeling to have Russia press him up against the wall and tug on his nice formal coat.

"This feels weird," Prussia said, uncertain what he was supposed to do with his own hands. "Perhaps we should get some vodka? Or just go nuts and bring on the chains and whips."

Russia stopped what he was doing and made a strangled sound. Prussia realized he was trying not to laugh. Prussia didn't even bother to try to stop himself and started to giggle hysterically. What the hell were they thinking? In all these years they never had any sex that was close to consensual unless it involved being intoxicated to the point they barley recognized each other. And knowing all this he still chose to move in with Russia. Germany was right. He must be completely out of his mind.

*

*

Prussia ended up making out with Russia for a while in the couch despite how weird it was. For practice, Russia claimed.

"Practice for what?"

"Practice for a healthy relationship."

"I read about those things. I don't think we nations have them."

"Which means we need to practice. A lot."

Well, hard to argue with that, though Prussia thought Russia should work on getting his anger issues under control as well. It was a good start to let him be on the top, Prussia did not like the feeling of being pinned down and crushed by the considerably larger nation. Russia even handed him his phone back, saying he read a good relationship required trust.

"Does that mean you will stop listening in on my private conversations?"

"I'm going to attempt trust, not gullibility."

"Fair enough I guess."

*

*

Prussia called up his brother the moment he was alone again.

"Hello! I got my phone back! In once piece."

Germany mumbled something about how that shouldn't be a cause for celebration. Prussia told him that he should learn to find joy in the small things in life.

"And it's totally bugged. Hello to you too Russia, nice KGB guy or whoever else is on the line."

Germany made a weird sound on the other side. He wasn't very verbose today. And it was a shame that he had refused to learn a randomized string of numbers and letters in both upper and lower case by heart in case Prussia ever wanted to send encrypted e-mails. In this particular case Prussia was forced to admit to himself that it wouldn't help though. An encryption was only as strong as its weakest link. Here the weakest link was Russia beating Prussia with his pipe until he gave up the password.

"I guess they eventually learn that I'm not about to talk about Russian military secrets on an unsecured line. I don't even know any yet."

They talked a while about harmless stuff like Italy's latest mishaps and Prussia hoped his brother got the message. He wouldn't be this cheerful if he was in real trouble. Russia had forced him to lie over the phone in the past, though Prussia hadn't been able to work up much enthusiasm and it had been pretty obvious that he was under distress. Russia had luckily never really cared about his level of commitment. It had been good enough that he could make his satellites repeat whatever propaganda he and his government feed them.

*

*

Prussia woke up with a yelp when a happy Russia loomed over him.

"I have so much fun planned for today, wake up, wake up."

Prussia started to curse him in Old Prussian before he remembered that Russia actually spoke that too. Damn. Still, Russia was in a good enough mood to not let that get him down.

"What are we considering 'fun' today?" Prussia carefully asked as he tried to get dressed as quickly as possible. Fun was a dangerous word in this house, since it could mean everything from some genuine good times to torture.

"I realized I never showed you around properly in modern Russia. And I did promise you to be responsible for the navy, did I not? I am not sure what I was thinking but we even got it in writing."

Good, Prussia had worried that he would have to fight Russia over that issue. Prussia would have bet anything that Russia only meant the Baltic fleet. That was however not what actually was written down. The documents said the navy. All of it.

"It might be time to actually do show you some military secrets."

"Oh, now you're just mocking me," Prussia said and proceeded to mumble profanity in several dead languages as he put his coat on. Modern languages just didn't have the same creativity. Russia just laughed.

*

*

_Thanks for the comments! _


	5. Chapter 5

Prussia felt more awesome than he had in a long time by Russia's side. Every single human they met showed them proper respect and Prussia couldn't wait until he could dig into the details of the organization. He had been promised all documents he wanted and his enthusiasm was contagious. Russia on the other hand was unusually quiet and calm. They both knew they needed to be careful around their citizens and weapons, influence worked both ways. Strong feelings among the population did of course influence the nations but the nations personal feelings also influenced humans, especially if they were close. Prussia remembered in the past when his battle frenzy and Russia's fury called out the worst in their soldiers. That was something that should not be repeated.

*

*

The navy certainly had it's high points, especially the nuclear submarines. There was no way Prussia was going to accept budget cuts without putting up a fight though.

"It's very nice," Prussia said to Russia. "Could be nicer of course. They could use having a Prussian officer yell at them for a while."

"Never underestimate the Russian army," Russia said, amused. "You didn't fare that well against us in the past, did you?"

"The combined awesomeness of Russian morale and Prussian discipline will amaze the world," Prussia cheerfully agreed. "But we need more money."

"Everyone wants more money," Russia said. "Talk to my boss about it."

"Too bad it isn't your old boss. I know him. Kind of, from when I was East."

"Whatever gave you the impression that he is the old boss?"

"Oh. So that is how it is."

Which wasn't bad, not at all.

*

*

Prussia's great time started to go slightly sour when he and Russia began to hit the liquor late one night. Russia never showed any physical signs of being intoxicated but he got progressively creepier as the bottle started to become empty.

"I always tried to be nice to you," Russia said. "I even gave you my good military equipment when you were East. I thought you would like that."

"It wasn't always bad," Prussia said, though it mostly was. Even if the tanks were nice he suspected they were mostly for use against his own people.

"You have always been so untrustworthy," Russia said. "I give you nice things and you turn on me in return. But it will be different this time, will it not?"

"Of course," Prussia agreed. When Russia wasn't smiling it was in one's best interest to not disagree.

"If you betray me again I will kill you. This time it will be easy since you are my territory."

Prussia had enough self-control to not run screaming in the other direction no matter how much he wanted to get away from Russia's mood swings. If he ran away he would never get an army again. If Russia kicked him out he would be a laughingstock, imagine being dismissed by Russia who wanted everyone...

"I-I haven't done anything that made you think I would stab you in the back, have I?"

"I'm just considering our history," Russia said and the smile returned with full force. "Don't worry, if you are nice to me you'll keep being my favorite territory and we can have a good healthy relationship and I'll give you anything you want."

Prussia started to wonder if Russia would notice if he began to grind lithium into his food.

"About healthy relationships? I think death threats goes under unhealthy."

"I apologize," Russia said without looking the slightest sorry. "I thought I would mention it so you knew."

It probably went under unhealthy as well but Prussia didn't mind Russia's idea to strip down a bit and he had no issues whatsoever with Russia going down on him to show he was serious with the apology.

"I'll arrange for your internet when we get home," Russia promised in a moment of weakness.

*

*

Prussia laughed like a madman when his internet addiction was finally feed. His inbox was overflowing with messages in the line of "where are you, what happened to you?". Most of his associates were a bit too anarchistic to react well on even a heavily sanitized version of being one with Russia. He planned to tell them he'd been sick.

"I have a very hard time understanding you," Russia said. "The Prussia I knew wouldn't play games in his brothers basement for years."

It was a common misconception Prussia hated but usually let slide. Now it was important that Russia took him seriously.

"Computers are good for more than games you know. Even if I love gaming. And Germany never asked me who I was chatting with... I've made some really interesting friends I wouldn't want to lose contact with. If you ever want to go for world domination again I can do some interesting stuff."

"With computers?" Russia said and looked a lot more interested.

"Yeah. Time passes so quickly for us, but I've been kind of stuck in this century since I wasn't much of a nation for a while. I paid attention. Most of the others don't realize the potential of modern technology. Or the dangers... I've been in more than one nation's computer and they didn't even notice. Idiots. Especially you."

"You hacked my computer?"

"I wouldn't call it that since I just guessed your password. You are a moron for using 'sunflower'. Took me like two tries."

The first try had been Lithuania. The greatest challenge was to find a time when Russia's computer was on at all. But it wasn't like Russia put something important on his computer anyway. Prussia had been very disappointed.

"I-"

Prussia wasn't about to let himself be distracted from this opportunity to prove how amazing he was. Russia looked daunted after a long and animated rant about computer security but hopefully something stuck.

"And you couldn't use a washing machine?" Russia said.

"Washing machines are useless for world conquest. Why should I care?"

*

*

With the laptop back it became much easier to make some notes and begin to summarize future plans and suggestions. Prussia was deeply invested in his studies of Russian bureaucratic language when he heard Russia yelling at him. Household work bored him to tears and Prussia wasn't happy to be told to scrub floors.

"I have real work to do," he protested.

"Listen," Russia coldly said and Prussia gulped when he was suddenly pressed against the wall. "I also have real work to do. Important things that have a real and imminent payoff. I will still not live in filth and wear dirty uniforms. Even if I like you more than I thought your are still my subordinate. If I felt less generous I would have you do all the work. Consider that."

Prussia considered that very carefully and apologized.

Later that night Prussia began to sketch on invasion plans for Poland. They definitively needed more minions.

Right now it wasn't even a good plan. Phase one, annex Poland. Phase two, something something. Phase three, world domination. Phase two needed more work before it could be presented to Russia.

*

*

Prussia worried that some kind of punishment was coming up when Russia brought him along to a meeting with the boss. It was shocking how old he had gotten, it was a constant uncomfortable thing in his life how bosses and human associates got old and died so quickly. When most other nations would rather eat nails than hang out with him he lately tried to find other company, despite how quickly they aged and how complicated that made things.

Still, it was fun to see the boss again. He pushed Prussia away and lectured him on personal space when Prussia's greetings became a bit too affectionate. Prussia didn't mind. It felt like the few good times he had as East Germany. It had always been funny to impersonate Italy and glomp Russian officials. Incredibly annoying without being a crime, though the boss had always taken it in stride.

"Want to play a bit with your new toys?" Russia wondered. "We're planning to send some ships to Somalia, I thought you might like that."

Prussia did indeed like that. It was nice to have an acceptable target to pound on. Not to mention he would get a little space between himself and Russia, all while doing something fun.

*

*

_Hm, good point about the rating. I'm not that good with the rating system, but the only thing in this story is probably some non-graphic sex and the undertones of domestic violence of Russia/Prussia that I don't take very seriously at all in the story._


	6. Chapter 6

From both American and English intelligence reports and Prussia's own admission he had been trying to request more money for the navy and been nasty to the unfortunate Russian soldiers who did not live up to his standards. Then he went to the African coast with some ships. Germany thought that sounded harmless enough but England was not happy.

"It's just the first part of some plan," he mumbled. Germany supposed he couldn't blame the other nation. He defended his brother mostly out of habit.

"Prussia has been assisting Somalia, which she wanted and asked for."

"Yeah, that is pretty non-evil actually," America agreed. "A surprise to us all."

Germany was able to steer the conversation into a more productive direction after

*

*

It was the surprise of the day when Germany got a e-mail with an invitation for a surprise party for Kaliningrad Oblast. From Russia, who first of all was notoriously uninterested in technology you couldn't maim people with. And secondly loathed him, a feeling that was mutual.

England called a few hours later in a fit of rage because Ireland and Scotland had been invited to Russia's party but not he.

"Do you even want to come?" Germany said with a sigh. He would only go because he kind of missed Prussia. The only thing he heard from him lately was chaotic texting that only made sense half of the time.

"That is not the point. The point is that Russia and Prussia are going to gather up their allies and try to recruit my brothers for their evil schemes!"

"Calm down, please." Germany regretted the next words the moment they left his mouth but he just wanted to put a stop to this. "I can bring you along with my invitation."

"Excellent! I knew you would take this seriously. I'll bring America and then we will make sure nothing sinister is going on."

Germany couldn't help wonder if Russia had planned it to end up exactly like this. When he made sinister plans with Russia they surely did not do it that openly... No, Russia was just teasing them.

*

*

Russia did without a doubt plan for Germany to bring America and England. He didn't look the slightest surprised and happily said the more guests the better.

Italy broke the worst tension by enthusiastically thanking Russia for inviting him. Germany's partner had started out horrified by Russia but he was depressingly easily influenced by more powerful countries and Russia had been pretty nice to him. Germany preferred to let his government deal with the Russian government. It was better that way than to be personally involved like Italy was.

His brother was the reason Germany bothered to show up at all and in that aspect it seemed to be a success. To be perfectly honest, Prussia's personality had prevented Germany from ever trying to invite people over for his birthday or something similar. He guessed that if Russia told his minions to show up they did, while the rest were too curious to look away from the train-wrack that was the Russia-Prussia relationship.

Prussia looked delighted over the attention and even more so when Russia held a short speech and toast in his honor. The message was clear and meant for Russia's minions rather than victims he intended to toy with. Prussia is one with Russia now so trust him.

*

*

Russia was surrounded by his new entourage of nations America forgot the names of and probably thought were terrorists anyway. Germany knew this because America constantly referred to them by the wrong names. Perhaps his lack of concentration was due to Iceland standing very close to Russia.

Times like this made Germany grateful that Italy was completely open with his feelings and came running directly and complained to him if he felt ignored. Even if the complaining was loud and often gave him headaches it was better than the alternative.

At least England was distracted by Scotland and Ireland who followed him around and made sarcastic comments. Somewhere Wales probably wondered what he had done to be ignored this time.

Prussia was in the middle of that mess too, probably being formally introduced to everyone as Kaliningrad.

"Don't hold my hand so hard," Italy complained.

"Sorry," Germany said. He hadn't realized he had been doing it.

*

*

With England getting into a drinking competition with Scotland and Ireland America and Germany got stuck with each other. Lithuania joined them as well, probably to avoid Russia. Italy was being is usual cheerful self and made new friends somewhere out of Germany's sight.

"I wonder what unfortunate soul that had to cook this time," Lithuania said.

Germany wondered too, it was both varied and well made.

"It's better than what he used to serve," America said, because he found he could get hamburgers.

"_I_ made that food," Lithuania said and gave America a death glare he didn't even notice.

"I used catering this time," Russia said and Lithuania flinched. The nation had sneaked up on them completely unnoticed. "Kaliningrad can't cook but he is filled with useful suggestions like that."

Russia wasn't touching Lithuania but he was standing close enough to violate the other nation's personal space. For a while Germany had thought he was being overly cynical when he assumed Russia invited some guests merely to toy with them and intimidate them. Now he was sure he was right and they were of course among those unfortunate few.

"Back off," America ordered.

"Why so rude today? I ordered that especially for you," Russia almost purred and America dropped the hamburger he was eating imminently.

"What the hell are you up to?"

"I'm trying to do something nice for my new acquisition," Russia innocently said and this time it was Germany's turn to twitch. Every time Russia pointed out his power over Prussia he wanted to hurt him. "I started to become really fond of him. And I try to be a good host of course."

"I don't need this anymore," Lithuania said. "I really don't."

He stormed off before Russia could get in a word. America went after Lithuania and that left Germany with Russia. Again, probably what Russia wanted judging from his smug expression.

"I think you lost your chance, da?" Russia smiled. "Perhaps you should have trusted your brother enough to let him be a part of your military and he might have stayed. Not that you have much of a military, it might not have worked anyway."

Russia's associates were uncomfortable close and Germany's own uncomfortable far away. Not to mention the way Russia loomed over him awoke very unpleasant memories.

"You are not nearly as intimidating as you think anymore," Germany said, refusing to back down. "And not even close to as important either."

"Are you that jealous dear Germany?" Russia's smile looked completely innocent and dissonant with his next words. "Perhaps we will need to show you that Russia is still to be counted with?"

Germany flinched when he felt someone touch his shoulder. He almost threw a punch before he recognized the feeling of Prussia hanging over him, head on his shoulder.

"Are you harassing my brother Russia?" Prussia said, not bothered at all by Russia's mood. "Stop drinking. And stop being creepy. These two things usually go together so just don't do any of them."

Prussia moved between them, took Russia's bottle and finished it himself with a most annoying smile that had been reserved for when he took the last beer in Germany's refrigerator until now.

"Perhaps we all should be friends now then? Russia said with his usual fake-friendliness.

"Yeah, sure. May I talk to my brother for a while? Alone."

Russia shrugged and took back his bottle, looking just a little sad at the reminder of that it was empty.

"Do I still need to protect you from Russia?" Prussia said.

"I'm more worried about you than myself."

"Stop being that. Remember, I am the older brother. You have our country all to yourself now, as it should be. And you still have me anyway because I'm not East anymore. When I'm Kaliningrad I'm Russia's second in command, not latest punching bag. I'll come by any day and get my stuff. And I'll come back others days to steal your food and beer."

Prussia was just as animated and happy as he used to be. Happier than when he lived with Germany, despite how hard it was to admit.

They continued to talk and Prussia carefully made sure to be very unspecific about what he did for Russia. Germany knew his brother well enough to realize he was going to war in his head already. He prayed Russia was more sane or that they would at least direct their attention to small unruly neighboring countries no one cared that much about anyway and might almost be happy to have under control.

But in the end it wasn't his problem anymore. It was Prussia's life. Prussia was the older brother. It was time to let go. Perhaps he was even a bit jealous. Germany didn't think he would ever go to war again.  
*

*

_Russia sending warships to Somalia to help out against pirates actually happened IRL... _

_I read about Collective Security Treaty Organisation (CSTO) between Russia, Armenia, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan and they seem prefect candidates to be what Germany considers Russia's new entourage. Germany is pretty suspicious and dismissive of all other nation's interactions with Russia, isn't he... I guess he does miss Prussia pretty badly. _


	7. Chapter 7

Prussia was so moved he didn't know what to say when he returned to a party. A party in his honor. Back in day Prussia's bosses used to have celebrations in honor of his greatness but he couldn't remember a single time other nations excluding family joined in unless he threatened them. Italy was the exception. Because Italy was adorable.

His effort had finally paid off, he was being introduced to Russia's military alliances. All witnessed by his brother and America and England. Russia publicly promised him to hold military exercises with the CSTO and he discussed it with the other nations in the alliance as well. They seemed to find this acceptable, hopefully not only because Russia could be that intimidating if he wanted to.

Prussia started to think he had been looking for friends in the wrong places, it might have been a mistake to try to share his brother's new friends. Even China was pleasant enough, despite the bickering he seemed to be genuinely found of Russia and by extent Prussia too. Prussia made a mental note of trying to get to know Korea better later, he seemed gloriously insane.

For tonight he had spent some time arguing religion with the very attractive Tajikistan until Russia passed by and told them that they were both idiots and wrong. They found some common ground in condemning Russia's heretic ways after that. For a while Prussia had been hopeful for some angry hatesex where they cried out the name of different gods... But suddenly Tajikistan excused herself with some bullshit reason. Women were so complicated. Prussia changed his focus to the Baltics and tried to forget about her. Russia seemed to enjoy freaking them out and Prussia wanted to find out if it was as fun as he made it look like.

However Poland hovered over the Baltic nations like some kind of demented nest mother and blocked his efforts. Really, they should just have stayed home if they felt that way. Prussia sized up Poland by sheer habit and he wasn't that impressed. One day or another he would make sure to connect his oblast with the main country again and through Poland was the easiest way... Poland had every reason in the world to look at him the way he did.

"Still not liking you, you know," Poland said. "But I'm almost happy you're around. Hope you're a better minion for Russia than you were for me. Because you were like the worst servant I ever had."

"Yeah, provoke the crazy person with weapons of mass destruction everyone thinks is on the verge of starting a new war," Prussia replied. "Smart."

Poland waved dismissively with his hand. "You're good for distraction and that's it. Russia hasn't been calling Liet in ages. You are like the best thing that ever happened to us. Must suck for you to be regularly screwed by Russia though."

Prussia was going to have that little bitch clean his house in a maid dress one day.

"I would be more worried about myself if I were you," Prussia said. He wasn't going to let Poland ruin his day of triumphant return. "Go away before I'll have you kicked out. And I'm being nice because I don't want to pay for having your blood cleaned from my carpet."

To Prussia's disappointment Poland backed off after muttering that he could take on Prussia again if he just wanted to. Prussia started to think he and Russia should take over Poland and the Baltics again just to teach them to pay proper respect to the Russian Federation.

*

*

After getting Russia off his brother's back Prussia planned to have a serious talk about how Germany was off the list of 'nations fun to make uncomfortable'. It was an eye-opener to see that Russia actually was able to interact with other nations without being insanely creepy. Not that Prussia ever felt certain when Russia was weird on purpose and when he wasn't. There was no reason they couldn't get on better with Germany if the China relationship had been saved, now was it?

Russia was perfectly nice to Iceland too, who Prussia never spoken to even once before. His reputation seemed to have spread that far anyway, as Iceland responded badly to Prussia's flirting.

"Are you not even the slightest interested?" Prussia said. He never believed in being subtle. It only wasted time.

Iceland sniffed. "No."

"But you are so cute." He had denied it earlier but yeah, he probably was a bit drunk. Otherwise he wouldn't even have bothered with Iceland who walked around with an air of smug superiority despite having no money and no army at all. It had taken him a while to realize that Iceland probably felt really out of his league and the perceived arrogance might be mostly nervousness.

"My first of many good arguments is that you are Russian territory. I prefer to have my vital regions intact and not ripped apart by Russia."

The mental image... Prussia shuddered. He never thought of it that way.

"Good enough argument," he admitted. And oh. Oh. So that was why Tajikistan gave him the cold shoulder out of nowhere.

*

*

Prussia went directly to Russia to confront him about this bothersome issue, again probably a decision influenced by alcohol. He stole Russia from Serbia and dragged him off to a corner as private as possible.

"I think you might need to write me a note," Prussia said, because he liked to offer solutions when he complained. "It will say 'To whom it might concern... I will not come after you chanting manically and armed with a pipe if you get it on with Prussia, aka Kaliningrad Oblast. Love, Russia'. Then I will make copies and pass it around."

"I'm not sure that is a promise I can keep," Russia replied with a smirk.

"Then I will have to demand regular sex from you, not just drunken blow jobs every now and then. Are you drunk now by the way?"

Russia chuckled. "Not that drunk. But I am here and available. I would even let you be on the top this time because of your obvious insecurities. I am the largest country in the world and not that worried about my manliness."

Germany or Italy would have blushed, stuttered and escaped. Russia brought it to the next level. Prussia loved it.

"Are you attempting reversed psychology here?"

"I read on google that narcissists don't respond well to such things."

"Google is the serch-, never mind, I'm just glad you remember anything of what I showed you."

Prussia had briefly considered to introduce Russia to the gift that was internet porn too but had decided not to. He would just end up with viruses and weird ideas. And things were weird enough as it was.

"Brother..." a voice softly called out, breaking up the strange tension completely.

"Make her go away," Russia said in a small voice.

If Belarus had heard even a fraction of that conversation she would probably go berserk. But Prussia wasn't known for his sanity either.

"Go away!" Prussia yelled back and people in general did their best to ignore what might be an upcoming bloodbath. But Prussia had faced Hungary and lived, Belarus was nothing compared to that. "We don't have to cuddle her, you know," he added, much quieter. "I don't think America wants to play with her anymore. We're kind of stuck with each other, aren't we?"

Belarus must have acknowledged Prussia's awesomeness and superior claim on Russia because she did back off.

"I'll hold you to those promises later," Prussia said. "And you owe me one for scaring her off."

"I'm very very grateful," Russia said in a subdued tone.

*

*

_Only one chapter left to go, but I might end up writing a sequel about Russia, Prussia and attempt on world domination later. This has mostly been about their attempt to learn to get along without trying to kill each other... _


	8. Chapter 8

Prussia hauled up his phone and quickly took a series of pictures when he saw England on the couch with Serbia on top of him. Serbia was easily recognized because no one else was wearing a military uniform and if they had it would at least been ironed. Serbia was a constant mess appearance wise and had a kind of bad reputation but Prussia thought he could come to like the other nation. Especially after this.

"Wow," he said to himself. Just an hour or so ago Serbia had loudly threatened to recognize Sealand. The pictures were totally going up on his blog, otherwise no one would believe him. America was looking at them too without doing anything about it.

"Aren't you two allies or something?" Prussia wondered as Serbia's hands moved in beneath England's shirt. Prussia took another picture.

"Meh," America said. "He seems pretty into it. Congratulations on the promotion by the way. Whatever you were promoted too, I didn't think it was very clear at all..."

"I'm promoted to trustworthy."

"Good for you!"

If it was anyone but America Prussia probably would have told him to go to hell for being condescending. But it wasn't such a great idea to mess with America unless you were Russia, who America still was unreasonably afraid of.

"But I thought you would go for Iran or something, so you could continue to try out every kind of evil fanaticism there is."

"I'm standing _right here_," Iran said.

"Why is Russia inviting every disagreeable nation on earth," America mumbled under his breath before he desperately tried to smooth things over. Prussia thought America should have Texas checked out. Even if the black things Iran liked to dress in worked nicely as camouflage in the dimly lighted room it was still damn obvious she was spying.

*

*

Prussia left America to his own devices and searched after Russia. He wanted to share the photos he just took and see Russia break down giggling too. He stopped to send China and Korea copies, who had proper cell-phones unlike Russia.

"I love how screwed up you are in Europe," Korea said and began to drink from a new glass China handed him the second he finished his previous. "Promiscuous party favors did not originate in Korea! Or even in China."

"Korea is much easier to handle when he is drunk," China whispered. He looked very proud over this discovery.

*

*

Prussia found Russia in a guest bedroom. He wasn't alone, Latvia was trapped between Russia and the wall and looked at the newcomer with pleading eyes. Latvia's shirt had been unbuttoned to allow Russia more access to his body.

"What exactly are you doing?" Prussia asked. Strange, he almost felt a little bit jealous. Russia's attention turned to him instead and Latvia managed to escape.

"I planned to share with you," Russia said as Latvia almost stumbled on his own legs in the attempt to get away as quickly as possible.

"I think we should stay away from such blatantly evil things," Prussia said, with much regret. Latvia was cute. "At least unless it has huge benefits."

Russia shrugged. "Latvia is independent for now. If he truly wanted nothing to do with me he would stay away. I looked through those novels he is constantly reading... He can't be that innocent."

Prussia considered trying to point out that it didn't exactly work like that. Latvia probably wouldn't dare to turn down a friendly invitation in fear of it becoming unfriendly. Ultimately he dismissed it as not worth the bother. Maybe Russia was right and Latvia just played hard to get.

"Another time perhaps." It did seem like Russia tried to do something nice for him in a deeply screwed up way.

*

*

Germany, Italy and America went home late after they finally managed to drag away the extremely drunk United Kingdom nations. Apparently England won some drinking contest and eventually ended up so out of it that even Serbia got bored with him.

"Why did we invite Scotland and Ireland again?"

"It was the only sensible thing I could do after I heard England disliked them."

When he wasn't on the receiving end Prussia loved how sadistic Russia's sense of humor could be. If he only managed to figure out when Russia was being sadistic because he did not pay attention and when he was sadistic with intent things would be so much easier.

"You do know there is a Wales too, right?"

"Of course _I_ know. I'm not as hopeless as America."

"Speaking of America, I also wonder why we want to hang out with every disagreeable nation on earth. I noticed that North Korea was the one on the guest list even if it was the other one who actually showed up."

"Don't you remember what it was like to have horrible bosses? North is welcome here anytime as long as she doesn't expect political support. Besides, it's only almost every disagreeable nation in Europe and Asia. Our house would be a bit crowded with everyone, don't you think?"

Aw, _our_ house. It made Prussia feel all warm and fuzzy inside, especially since Russia seemed unaware of his choice of words.

"I guess," Prussia agreed. "And thanks. It was fun and it's nice to be back."

"I missed your horrible breakfast when you were gone," Russia said.

Prussia snickered, Russia must be very drunk to admit something like that. Or unusually sober. Prussia had started to make muesli with sour milk when the cooking part of a warm breakfast failed him and while Russia constantly expressed displeasure with this he ended up eating it anyway.

"I missed the up times of your mood swings."

Russia glared at him. "I have a lot of things on my mind."

"Of course, of course," Prussia agreed. "Not nearly as sinister things as America thinks I bet."

It was strangely comfortable to be back again. Perhaps it was because Russia's house was so ridiculously oversized but it was easier to claim a part that actually felt like his than with Germany. Russia had proved to be a worthy opponent over and over again, it was less humiliating to be subjected to him than to his own younger brother. Prussia would never tell Russia he was sorry about their past because he didn't believe in apologizes. The only reasonable thing to do was to prove with actions rather than words that things had changed.

He knew for sure they had managed to change things when Russia's smile reached his eyes at Prussia's answer. They had more beer and drew new lines on a map, joking about what parts of who they were going to claim. Even if they probably would not end up doing even a fraction of the daring plans Prussia thought it wasn't bad to dream with someone who dreamed the same dreams he did. It was about as a happy ending as they deserved he supposed.

"For living in interesting times," Prussia said and raised his glass.

"You do know that is considered a curse?"

"Not in my world," Prussia replied. He couldn't think of a better gift than an interesting life.

*

*

_Kind of a happy ending, I hope. Please review if you liked it :)_


End file.
